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The minisode begins with Marie Schrader recording on a video camera at 8:34pm.
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| Marie
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I— Hank, if you're watching this, shut it off. Immediately. If you have found this tape, that means you have been in my shoe closet, which I have expressively asked you not to do. So turn it off.
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Cut to 8:39pm.
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| Marie
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[Breathes deeply] Okay. So, I am Marie Schrader, this is my video diary.
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Cut to 8:51pm.
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| Marie
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My court-appointed therapist, Dave, asked me to do this. He said that I am high-strung. Oh, he didn't actually say that to me, I... read it in his notes when I peeked at them.
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Cut to 8:53pm.
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| Marie
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I find that diagnosis insulting, not to mention, patently untrue.
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Cut to 8:55pm.
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| Marie
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Is it pay-tently untrue or pat-tently untrue? Because, it's not— It's not "pay-tent leather shoes", it's "pat-tent leather shoes", and—? When did it become "Hal-ley's comet" instead of—? It's— It's "Hay-ley's comet", it's Bill Hay-ley and the Comets. I'll tell you what it is; it is America and our inferiority complex to the British. We feel inferior to the British, and how long is that gonna go on? You know, two or three hundred years? And- [Chuckles] Hey, I seem to recall some serious butt-kicking that went on 1776.
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Cut to 9:01pm.
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| Marie
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What the hell is up with Madonna?! You're born in Jersey City or wherever, not the goddamn Queen of England! So stop talking like you're- You know, Dame Judy Hellen Mirren, for God's sakes. It's embarrassing to America!
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Cut to 9:04pm.
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| Marie
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I had a cone bra. Her metal cone bra. I bought it for a Halloween costume, it... was more comfortable then I thought it would be. I liked it. It surprised me. I felt powerful.
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Cut to 9:08pm.
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| Marie
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This worked out pretty nicely, I have to admit. I feel, um, like I had a breakthrough. I am going to say "pat-tently" instead of pay-tently. I am my own woman. So, yes, very nice, Dave! Progress! [Inhales] All right!
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Marie turns off the video camera.
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